Passions of the Potter
by Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter
Summary: Harry Potter stumbles across a Portkey... and comes to the land of the Lord! Jesus journeys with him back to modern times, to Hogwarts.
1. Default Chapter

Chapter 1- Portkey of the Lord  
  
Harry Potter grumbled as he stepped into the darkened cave of the Chamber of Secrets. He didn't know why Hermione insisted on searching the cavern... no one knew about it, and all it contained was the now-rotting corpse of the basilisk. Idly poking through the rubble, he watched Hermione root through the debris with fervor, and watched Ron watch Hermione with about the same fervor. Suddenly, Harry tripped over something, slamming his face into the rocks. Cursing, he shook off the dust and glared at the item that tripped him. However, it was no ordinary rubbish. It was an ornate golden cross, with a man pinned to it with stakes.  
"Ron, Hermione... come take a look at this." Harry yelled. He heard them scrabbling across the rocks to his location as he peered curiously at the object.  
"Harry..." Hermione breathed as she finally got a close look at the cross. "Do you know what this is?"  
"Er... some sort of jewelry?" Harry responded quizzically.  
Hermione glared at him. "No. Honestly, haven't you lived with muggles for your whole life? You mean to tell me you've never seen this?"  
Harry shrugged apologetically. "Well... to be fair, I was in a cupboard for most of that time."  
Hermione waved him away impatiently. "This object is a symbol, Harry. Christianity is a belief system subscribed to by the majority of Muggles on this planet. They place their faith in an omnipotent God and the man depicted here, is Jesus Christ. According to their mythology, he was the son of this God who was sent to redeem the corrupt humans. He was killed for his messages, and his sacrifice is what allowed humanity to enter into Heaven, their idea of paradise."  
As Hermione continued her discourse, Harry sat, eagerly listening to every word. Neither one of them noticed Ron's disinterest in the conversation, nor his growing fascination with the cross as he inched closer towards it.  
"There's no truth to it, however. Every educated wizard or witch knows that the Muggle legend of Jesus is completely false, and used by the more powerful Muggles to control the masses." Hermione finished.  
"Well, that's quite interesting, but what is something like that doing down - Ron, what the hell are you doing?! Don't touch it!" Harry broke off mid-sentence as he attemped to grab Ron and stop him from grasping the cross. In the attempt, Harry caught the tip of Hermione's robes, and they tumbled towards Ron, just as he took hold of the cross with his fingers. Harry felt a familiar pulling sensation at his navel...  
  
Harry stumbled, looking around. A Portkey, just his luck... He had no time to consider his surroundings, however, as he saw a throng of people approaching him. At their head was a man with a large wooden cross on his back, being whipped and scourged by men in bronze armor. Harry grabbed his still dazed companions and hurled himself as best he could out of harm's way. He just narrowly made it, and watched wordlessly as the crowd stormed past him. The beaten man looked around, and Harry locked eyes with him. Mesmerized, Harry watched helplessly at the man's sorrowful eyes and the cruel torture he was enduring. He was startled back to reality by a sharp hiss behind him.  
"Harry!" Ron whispered. "We have to save that guy!"  
Harry looked at him askance. "Ron, he's most likely a criminal, on his way to being executed for whatever crime he's committed. I can't believe they would treat an innocent man like this."  
Ron scowled. "Harry, how thick are you? That man! He's the man on the cross back in the Chamber!"  
Hermione finally joined them, looking disheveled. "But... no. That's not possible, Ron. He just looks like him. Jesus didn't exist... He's just a myth..."  
Ron rolled his eyes. "We thought the Chamber was a myth too! It turned out to be real! What if this is in fact that man? According to you, he was innocent! We have to save him, and I'm going to." With that, Ron took out his wand and forced his way into the crowd.  
"Ron! Wait. We can't take out this many people by ourselves. We need a plan." Harry told him. "This is what we'll do- I'll go behind the crowd, and summon the cross to me. When I do, that should create enough of a diversion for you two to grab him and then we'll get out of here."  
The other two nodded tensely.   
"Alright... as soon as I summon the cross, that's your cue." Harry said. With that, he rushed to the back of the crowd as Ron and Hermione readied themselves for the rescue.  
"Accio Cross!" Harry shouted. The massive wooden cross flew backwards through the crowd, throwing people aside. Ron and Hermione dashed into the middle, and hoisting Jesus up onto their shoulders, ran out of the crowd. Harry followed suit. As it turns out, they had no need for the escape. The soldiers, seeing the flying cross as an act of God, refused to chase after them. Harry and his cohorts didn't realize this, however. The three teenagers and their escapee rushed out of the city of Jerusalem, not stopping until they had cleared the walls of the city. Once outside the walls, they paused to recoup.  
"Harry... this man is quite badly wounded. I don't think he'll make it unless I help him." With that, Hermione muttered an incantation and slowly, some of the wounds began to heal. The man looked up at them, wearily.  
"Why... why have you saved me?" Jesus spoke as his deep blue eyes scanned his would-be rescuers.  
"Uh... why? You were being beaten and whipped. Why wouldn't we save you?" Ron replied.  
Jesus looked at him. As he gazed at Ron, Ron felt uncomfortable and yet serene at the same time. He felt that he could not hide anything from this man, but also that he didn't want to.  
"Perhaps... this is my Father's plan." Jesus nodded. "Well then, friends... I thank you. I am Jesus, of Nazareth."  
Hermione opened her mouth, but no words came out. She finally was able to mutter a few words. "No...but... you're... I mean... you don't exist. You can't exist."  
Jesus smiled at her. "Why can I not exist? Does not my presence here give credence to my earthly being?"  
Hermione shook her head. "No... that's not what I meant. I mean, obviously, you're here, and in front of us, but... you can't be Jesus of Nazareth. You're a myth, a legend. Something created by Muggles to scare other Muggles into being good."  
"A false threat, then?" Jesus said.  
Before Hermione could answer, Harry cut in.  
"This is all well and good, but those men could be back at any time. We need to get back to Hogwarts."  
"I have never heard of this place... but perhaps one of my followers knows. We can reach the house of Simon-Peter, one of my apostles. He shall surely find the place you seek." Jesus told them, rising unsteadily.  
"Before we proceed, however... I would like to know who I have the pleasure of journeying with."  
"Ah, we're sorry. I'm Hermione Granger."  
"I'm Harry Potter."  
"I'm Ronald Weasley. Call me Ron."  
Jesus nodded. "From where do you hail? I cannot place your manner of speech."  
"Wait a minute. How do you speak English?" Hermione questioned. " If you're here, we must be in ancient Israel. You should be speaking Aramaic, or Hebrew. English hasn't even been invented yet!"  
Jesus smiled serenely at them. "The Holy Spirit grants me the gift of speech. There are no barriers between my children and I."  
Harry raised his head suddenly. "Wait a second! The Portkey! Where is it? We can use it to get home."  
Ron shrugged. "It's probably where we left it last."  
"Well, then let's backtrack to the site and use it to return home." Hermione said, matter-of-factly.  
"Wait... we can't just leave him here." Ron said, glancing at Jesus. "If those men find him, we're practically killing him."  
"I shall journey with you. I believe my presence here is no longer necessary." Jesus told them. He rose up. "Let us go back, and find your key."  
The four of them snuck stealthily back into the city, avoiding any contact with anyone. After much sneaking about, and a few close calls, they finally arrived back to the site. Peering about the deserted road, Harry spotted the golden cross that had brought them there.  
"Alright... there it is. It's time to get out of here." Harry said as he led the four of them to the cross. "Remember, everyone hold hands, and don't let go until we're safely back at Hogwarts."  
Jesus looked at the cross, and grinned. "Ironic, that the object of my suffering should become a symbol to my followers."  
With that, they all clasped hands. Harry reached out to the Portkey. Jesus felt a sort of tickling behind his navel.  
  
Chapter 2- The Messiah at Hogwarts 


	2. The Messiah at Hogwarts

Chapter 2- The Messiah at Hogwarts  
The four of them got up, dizzy after their trip with the Portkey.   
Harry looked around. "I hate to say it, but this is the one time I'm glad to see this place."  
Jesus looked around, and shrugged. "I suppose. I've seen worse accomodations, however."  
Ron looked up at him. "Well, this is the place where Harry fought and defeated a basilisk- that's a snake- and the spirit of You-Know-Who, in our second year."  
Jesus raised his eyebrows. "Actually, I don't."  
Harry cut in, scowling. "What he means, is Voldemort."  
Ron shuddered at the mention of the name.  
"He was-well, is again- one of the most feared dark wizards of our time. He was defeated when he tried to kill Harry. Harry's mother's love for him is what stopped You-Know-Who from killing Harry along with his parents." Hermione stated as she started towards the Chamber exit, motioning for the others to follow. "After that, You-Know-Who was broken. Everyone believed him to be dead, but he showed up here at Hogwarts in our first year. Harry defeated him then, as well. However, he was able to come back to his full power in our fourth year here, and is now at large again, though the Ministry of Magic refuses to believe us about it."  
Jesus gave a slight nod of acknowledgement. "I understand. Temptation is a very real thing, and many righteous men have strayed from the Way in their lust for power, and have been ultimately seduced by it."  
"Well, that's about it in a nutshell, I suppose. But here, we're filthy. Let's get back upstairs to the school, so we can wash up. And I know someone who would very much like to meet you." Harry said, smirking.   
The intrepid quartet wound their way through the tunnels and finally reached the bathroom where the entrance to the Chamber was hidden. Clambering up the side of the tunnel, Harry grabbed the edge of a pipe and swung himself up onto the bathroom floor. He turned around and helped up his compatriots, and then resealed the Chamber.   
"I must say, that was quite a bit of fun. And I don't think we broke any school rules, for once." Harry stated as he rubbed soot and grime off of his glasses. He groaned audibly when he heard a sniffle and a sob from around the corner. Knowing full well what was coming, he turned around and watched Moaning Myrtle glide around the corner.  
"Gone into the Chamber again, haven't you, Harry?" Myrtle screeched. It wasn't a mad screech, but a sort of forced, sorrowful screech. "Got a new friend to play with then, haven't you? No one invites Myrtle..."  
"I would hardly call myself a playmate." Jesus said, looking at the little ghost in front of him. "But I wonder, young spirit, why you linger here on this mortal realm? You are no longer bound here, by a fleshly body. Go now! I release you into my Father's kingdom. You do not belong here." With that, Jesus raised his hands towards Myrtle. At first, nothing happened. Slowly, however, Myrtle became a bit more transparent than usual. It happened gradually. She got fainter and fainter, until she wasn't there at all. The three Gryffindors stood behind him, shellshocked.  
"What... what did you do to Myrtle?" Harry asked, stunned.  
"She did not want to be here. Nor did she belong here. She just did not understand there was something else, beyond this realm. I have shown her the path to the kingdom of Heaven." Jesus replied, smiling benevolently at them. After he received no reply, he prompted them on. "Come now, we did not arrive in your house to stand vigil over a departed spirit. Rejoice that your friend is with God."  
Harry nodded dumbly, still amazed. "Er... right, of course. Follow me."  
With that, the three wizards led the Son of Man out of the bathroom, taking the chance to walk a little ahead of him.  
"Did you see that?! Hermione, he just made Myrtle disappear! He must be who he says he is!" Ron whispered excitedly.  
"That doesn't prove anything, Ron." Hermione hissed at him. "There could be a spell I don't know about."  
Ron looked at her in shock. "Hermione, the man didn't even use a wand!"   
Hermione chewed on her lower lip, frowning. "Well... there has to be a reason."  
Ron scowled at her, but said nothing. Harry looked over at them, and rolled his eyes. Sometimes both of them could about as flexible as a rock. They climbed up the stairs, and made a right into a passageway with a very familiar looking statue.  
"Here we are." Harry said, turning to Jesus. "This is the office of our headmaster, Professor Dumbledore. I'm sure he'll be quite pleased to meet you." He rotated again, bringing himself to face the statue. "Lemon drop." he said, and the statue fell away to reveal a winding stairway.   
"Ladies first." Harry said, grinning at Hermione. She climbed up the steps, with her compatriots close behind.  
  
Chapter 3- Divine Magics 


	3. Divine Magics

Chapter 3- Divine Magics  
The four compatriots ascended into Dumbledore's sanctum, a place now very familiar to Harry. He could see the phoenix, Fawkes, the cabinet containing the Pensieve, and other oddities of Dumbledore's office. However, the office was missing its chief oddity: Dumbledore himself.   
"I wonder where Professor Dumbledore is?" Harry said, coming up the stairs into the office.  
"I don't have the slightest idea, Harry, but it's getting dark." Ron griped, motioning towards the windows. "Can't we go and eat dinner, and come back to see him later? I'm sure he's quite busy."  
Harry shook his head in disbelief. "This is important, Ron! We've found a man who can dispel ghosts without a wand, who was previously thought to be a myth, and you're worried about eating?"  
Ron started to reply, but just then the sun went down over the horizon. Suddenly, a deafening crash was heard as the windows shattered, and five cloaked figures jumped in, with feral countenance and poor dental habits. The lead vampire smirked maliciously at Jesus and his cohorts.  
"Don't worry Mr. Potter. Your precious Dumbledore is in our hands now. With him gone, there is nothing stopping me and my fellow vampires from assaulting this school, and executing our plan. Incidentally, your red-headed friend had the right idea. We are indeed a bit hungry." The vampire said as his bared his fangs.  
"Get back!" Jesus shouted at the kids as the techno music started.  
The vampires jumped into the fray, as the teens retreated into the back of the office, leaving Jesus to defend them against these blood sucking fiends. One of the vampires approached the Son of Man, attempting to deck him with a powerful right hook. Jesus was too quick for him, however, sweeping the arm away and landing a ferocious blow to the vampire's chest, sending him careening into the wall. Two more attacked him, trying to overpower him by flanking him. Jesus matched them blow for blow, dexterously avoiding their best attempts to get the upper hand. He was distracted, however, by a shout from behind him.  
"One of them's got Hermione!" Harry shouted, as Hermione struggled futilely against the vampire's crushing grip. Thinking quickly, Jesus jumped over Dumbledore's desk, grabbing the quill from the ink jar. With divine aim, Jesus launched the quill directly at the vampire's heart, freeing Hermione from the dastardly vampire's clutches. Unfortunately, the other vampires had not forgotten their failed attempts to defeat him, and picked up the desk, ready to slam it on Jesus's head while his back was turned.  
"Jesus! Behind you!" Ron yelled, painfully aware of his and his compatriots' complete and utter impotence in this situation.  
Jesus swiveled swiftly, and in the blink of an eye broke off two of the desk's legs. Rolling under one of the vampire's legs, he leaped to his feet, and staked them both in the heart, through their backs. They turned to dust, and he turned to face the last couple of vampires. The vampires, however, had fled, obviously no match for the Son of God's inexplicably amazing martial arts skills.   
"That was amazing!" Ron exclaimed. "You just went pow! And bam! And completely-"  
Harry cuffed him across the head, scowling. "There's more vampires loose in the school, and you're here gibbering. Come on, we have to save Hogwarts and Professor Dumbledore!"  
Hermione shook her head slightly. "The school's much too big for that.They could be hiding anywhere! I've read up on vampires, as well. They can bite others, and turn them into vampires. We could very well be facing a horde of vampire students, as well as the original ones!"  
"If you can find the original vampire that changed them, defeating them will return the others back to normal." Jesus said, starting down the spiral steps. "Thus, we must hurry."  
The others nodded grimly, following him down into the darkened halls of the school proper. 


End file.
